Extraction

16th May 20207th May 2020 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“You drown not by falling into the river, but by staying submerged in it.”
Review by Lewis Goodall

I have a love hate relationship with this film. In the sense of it being a film, I loved it. How jealous it made me is another topic. Have you ever looked at someone and thought that they must’ve been crafted by God himself and placed on Earth to make everyone else feel like dirt? That’s Chris Hemsworth, he’s the alpha male and everyone else is a failed imitation and that’s why I hate it, but the film itself is amazing.

Extraction, Directed by Sam Hargrave, is a cliche but hard hitting action film about the abduction of a drug lords son. Ovi (Rudhraksh Jaiswal), is kidnapped by a rival drug lord and held to humiliate his father who is in jail. Ovi’s father, Ovi Senior who is in jail, gets his best man, Saju (Randeep Hooda) on the job to steal back his son. Saju thinks “ah hell nah I’ll be killed In seconds!”, so he hires Tyler Rake (Chris ‘God of thunder’ Hemsworth) to complete the impossible task.

Just a brief summary of what happens in the film right there, pretty simple premise, get the most bad ass person you know to carry out an impossible mission. Now every time I watch an action film, I just cant help but compare it to John Wick, which in my eyes is the perfect action film. Extraction takes the John Wick formula and replicates it perfectly, I wouldn’t say it exceeds but its definitely matched. The action sequences in extraction are down right incredible, including a 12 minutes long shot which always gets Lewis a bit tingly. Every punch, every kick, every gunshot hits hard. It certainly didn’t wimp out with showing you how brutal Tyler Rake can be. Watching him tackle a group of mercenaries that have been sent to hunt him down is always exhilarating and realistic. The realism comes from the fact that Tyler does get hurt, quite a bit in fact. He doesn’t just shrug off a hit to the arm, he puts on a sling which I felt added to the action and made it more engaging knowing you’re action watching a human and not a machine like some other action films when they can get shot in the eye and still have breakfast.

The action does pretty much last the entire film so if you’re looking for an all out action then this is it, one hour and thirty five minutes of pure adrenaline. It wouldn’t be an action film without an emotional cliche thrown in now would it. With Tyler, he has an emotional back story which I guess brings you closer to the character but in this it just kind of seems thrown in to give some depth. It really didn’t need to add the backstory, it didn’t add anything to the story in my opinion, i’m not opposed to it being in the film I just felt it was unneeded. Just have a tough guy who is cool with popping skulls but also with a happy childhood.

Overall this film is an action fan orgasm. It has all the components of a great action film with moments that will make anyone go “oof, that must’ve hurt”. The emotional scenes didn’t take up too much of the run time which is fine, if they added those in to get the ladies interested then there was no point, the ladies wont be listening because they’ll be too focused on Chris Hemworths brutal swans, as was I.

7.5 Childish Yeets out of 10

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Charlies Angels (2019)

14th Dec 201915th Dec 2019 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“Theres a cheese sized hole in my soul and I need to fill it”
review by Lewis Goodall

This review is dedicated to the one other person who was in the cinema. A woman who brought a book to see a film who was cracking up at every joke and she absolutely loved it. The book was ‘Invisible Women’, a book about how men own the world and how the women have to fight back and that’s all you have to know about the target demographic for this film. This ones for you random woman.

Charlie’s Angel’s, written and directed by Elizabth banks is the reboot everyone was screaming for. This time the gals are…. oh man I dont have the energy for this one, the story was all over the place, but essentially what happens is an corporation has built a new device that is going to revolutionize the way we use electricity. This device is essentially a hands free Google Home as you speak to it to turn lights on and off. The device has a major flaw though, it has the capability of being weaponized and turned into an EMP that will fry the brain of anyone within about 2 meters of it. It’s a job for the Charlie’s Angel’s to stop this device from getting into the wrong hands and save the world from misogynistic pigs!! GO GIRLS GOOOOOO!!!

I’m going to find it very hard to not get political during this review so I’ll try my best to stick to the film itself rather than the aim of it. So, without further ado, the film review. Its was garbage, a hot steamy load of garbage, but also at the same time not but also yes, yes no yes no yes no. It was certainly a film, that much I can say. It was a 2 hour film that somehow had nothing to it. Theres just so much to say about it, I’m probably sounding very all over the place so let’s break it down and talk about it from a technical stand point.

Technically, this film is pretty sound, at no point did I think that it was shot badly, but also I cant say at any point i thought that it was shot nicely, it was just generic. That’s basically it on a technical stand point, it’s very generic, its minimal enough to do the job and get the point across but it tried nothing to stand out. Action films have been ruined for me because no film will ever be John Wick. Theres just not a lot to say about it because it was just generic nothing bad to say, nothing good to say.

Generic sums up the direction of this film but I was surprised to actually see a bit of character out of the performances, specifically from Kristen Stewart. Again I dont have anything bad to say about the performances. We have Naomi Scott playing, Elena, the new recruit who personally helped build the device with the flaw. We have Ella Balinska who plays plain Jane, the one with obligatory british accent and we have Kristen Stewart playing Sabina, the fun qwerky one. Together they form the angels, with their boss, Bosley, played by the writer and director, Elizbeth Banks herself. Also Parick Stewart is in the film, just thought I’d point the out, had no idea he was in it. As I mentioned, to be honest, I didnt have a problem with their, I feel they all filled their shoes well, nothing off best about them. My problem lies in the script, oh boy let’s go off.

This screenplay is the definition of lazy. The performances were fine but they are let down by such awful… awful writing. It’s just super cringey. Kristen Stewart plays the comic relief and for me, none of her jokes landed, not once did I crack a smile at what she said. It was great seeing a bit of personality out of her but what she was saying was laughable for all the wrong reasons. Saying quotes like “you swiped right, and now I’m your girlfriend” before head butting someone was just overly cringey. Oh man, apparently there were jokes because the woman in the cinema was cracking up at some of the punchlines I couldn’t seem to work out where I was suppose to laugh because the punchlines were more like… I dont know, ticklelines, actually that implied that they make you laugh. Something softer than punching.

I guess I’ll quickly just say what I liked about the film which was some of the action sequences were actually nicely played out. Although they did the typical thing of making jokes while beating someone up, the beting peopleup parts were fairly consistent and in one instant cool as one of the Angel’s slides down a ramp shooting at a bad guy. That was nice.

The whole film was accompanied by a soundtrack by Ariana Grande who is a guilty pleasure so I enjoyed the aspect of the film. See, there were a few things i liked, just overal the whole experience was just boring. Boring and generic with some grade F comedy thrown in. A big problem was the length of the film compared to the content. What I mean is that it was 2 hours with no build to it, there were moments when they tried to humanize the Angel’s by giving them some backstory in the laziest way ever, but you dont really get connected to the characters or what they’re truly feeling. When they show emotion it just kind of happens with no reason or I suppose, context to really feel alongside the character.

Overall its just not a film for me. There are definitely some ma hating feminists that will love this film. Plenty of men in the film, only 2 are nice and one is a naff display of trying to add a love interest, but again, not going to get political. I can certainly see that someone would get something out of this film, the last in the cinema definitely did, but for me, this film was just the same as eating olives, I know people like them, but for me, I cant comprehend that people can est them because they just make me gag.

4 Bowl Cuts out of 10

The Raid 2

20th Nov 201920th Nov 2019 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“Its not that I dont trust you, its just that I dont trust anybody”
Review by Lewis Goodall

After finishing the first raid film (which im sure you can see from there but I reviewed it here check it out before you read this one and watch the film cause it’s great! Anyway back to basics), I had to watch the second one because of how much I loved it. Thinking HOLY PINEAPPLES YES A SECOND RAID FILM! so naturally the first thing I did was go out a buy it cause it wasnt on netflix and watched it. Now here we are, at my review, let’s see what I thought shall we?

So ‘The Raid 2’, obviously the sequel to ‘The Raid’ and still directed by Gareth Evans. The sequel takes a more story based approach eoth our main protagonist, Rama (Iko Uwais). I realised I never mentioned it but he was the main character in the first one too. So the events of the sequel take place straight after the first where him and two others survived the onslaught from the tower they raided. Proving that he was someone to not be messed with, he goes undercover with the head honcho of the crime syndicate that he attacked in the first raid. His plan is to infiltrate, learn their secrets and take them down from the inside.

Taking a huge leap from the first film, the direction for this film was definitely to double up on all aspects, mainly the amount of story and the impact of the action. Gareth has once again nailed the violence and fighting that was already perfected in the first film so how he managed to top it I dont know. Although the ratio of fighting and story is more geared toward story this time, the action seemed to be hugely compacted where throughout the film theres less of it but when it happens, my god does it go off. The first film the action is very much like a machine gun, constantly going. Whereas in the sequel, it seems to be more like a mortar where it takes longer to reload but ultimately leaves a much bigger wound. Again there were moments that had me wincing, moments that brought out the same reaction as a young boy seeing a Hot Wheels advert for the first time. It still played to a beat that kept the rhythm of the fighting at a nice pace so that things were just enough, not too over the top but enough to be amazed.

Rama starts out with receiving the invitation of going undercover in return the police will protect his wife and son which seems like a pretty fair trade to me. In order to get closer to the kingpin of the operation, Rama goes to prison where the kingpins son currently is. From there they form a bond as they fight other prisoners who want both of them dead because that’s prison, everyone wants everyone dead. Feeling trusted, Rama is accepted within this gang where he must tag along with crimes in order to build more of a rapport and get closer to get the gossip. Watching the film, it didnt really feel like the sequel to the first, although the same characters were there, the style of the story was so completely different that it did feel a bit disjointed from the first. I dont even think there is a single raid during the sequel, unless you can consider Rama is silently raiding the family. I guess that works, we’ll go with that. I’m not necessarily saying that the story was bad, it just felt a little disconnected from the first considering the first had next to no story and this seemed to pack loads in there. I still very much enjoyed the story and the incorporation of old characters from the first.

Theres one character in particular that I have to mention because he was badass as hell and that was Prakoso (Yayan Ruhian). Now he’s a bad guy, was a bad guy in the first film but this mans fighting is just insane, I have to give him his own shout out. Hes that good that they got him in John Wick 3 to go up against, you guessed it, John Wick. This dude has the energy of a baby chimp with ADHD and 12 adrenaline shots in the arm. Hes a pleasure to watch fighting and looks so damn intimidating that everytime he came up on the screen my heart started pounding because I knew someones jaw was about to be spun. Along side him you have a plethora of other skilled fighters who have their own specialist weapons, looking like bad guys out of an anime. A man armed with a baseball bat, one with curved knives, my favourite however has to be the woman who wielded two hammers and my god I fell in love, I wouldnt mind having my spine sliced open with a hammer as long as she was wielding it.

Not only were the characters and action great, I also have to mention that on a technical level I was impressed as well. Not as overwhelmingly creative as other films in the genre but there were some shots that really stood out which I feel would seriously go unnoticed but are highly appreciated by moi. One in particular was when there was a car chase scene. The camera was filming the car, it then swooped around to the passenger window to film the driver. It then went behind him and out the other window, all in one take meaning that somehow its line the camera skewered it’s way through the car. I have no idea if I’ve described that to do it credit but it was subtle direction like that that kept it fresh as the film progressed.

Overall, we have yet another sequel that delivers just as much punch as the first. Focusing more on story this time, I actually appreciated the fact that it was a competent story as well because it so easily couldve gone down the marvel route and been a boring, cookie cutter style film but the whole experience was exciting. Minor hitches in terms of some parts of the story not really being tied off or some choices that seemed a bit pointless, but other than that, this is another action film that punches you right in the throat, grabs your nuts/labia and treats you right.

8 Big Black Strap-On’s out of 10

Hardcore Henry

21st Oct 201921st Oct 2019 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“you’re half machine, half pussy”
Review by Lewis Goodall

Hardcore Henry is a man resurrected from the dead with no recollection of what happened to him. All memory of his past life has been wiped but he wakes up to a woman repairing his body parts with robotic replacements. This woman is in fact his wife, but as she is repairing him, the bad guy who has telekinetic powers, turns up and kidnaps Henry’s wife!!! Henry then must hunt down this mysterious man with the help of his new found friend, Jimmy (Sharlto Copley). They work together to take down this bastard and save the only part of Henry that he remembers

This films style is actually based on a music video for the band ‘Biting Elbows’ with their song ‘Bad Motherfucker’. Apart from fatboy slims ‘weapon of choice’, this has to be one of the coolest, most russian, music videos I’ve ever seen. Before watching Hardcore Henry I seriously urge you to watch this music video anyway, even if you dont like the sound of the film, this video is great and full and action and humour. In fact I’ll just out it here in the review so you dont forget, here you go.

So as you can see from the video it’s a pretty intense, first person rollercoaster of violence, and if you didnt watch it then with that I’m sure you’ll go back and watch it, seriously it’s like 3 minutes, go on, treat yourself. So because of how viral this video went, they decided to get the same guy who directed it to make a full movie. So take that video and stretch it to an hour and forty minutes and add a storyline you wont care about and now you have ‘Hardcore Henry’.

What this film does incredibly is its ability to manage to make every single piece of action intense and fun to watch. Luckily this film is around 91% action so yeah it’s pretty intense the whole way through. Plus going off from the music video, this film is too entirely first person. Although this adds an interesting twist on filmmaking in general, the heavy action scenes where Henry is being thrown around by bad guys like a rottweiler with a baby, the first person view can be pretty disorienting. Other than the feeling of nausea you may get watching it in this view, it also shows how much of a beast Henry is. Being half cyborg means he serious packs a punch when fighting the hoard of henchman that he takes on. Whether it’s down to Henry breaking someones back or grinding someones head down a wall, every single hit, hits hard, and I mean reeeeeeally hard, a lot of parts making you wince, one part in particular if your man, trust me, that part made my meat and two testicles hide back inside myself.

This film is considered more of an experiment due to the innovative way of shotting the film and it seems like most of the effort went towards choreographing the action rather than anything else. Luckily like I mentioned, most of the film is action so in that sense it’s great, 10/10 I would say, but the story that’s poorly stitched in between is something that the film could’ve gone without to be honest. The problem is is that it seemed to over complicate the situation, to the point where I didnt care what was happening with the story, it all got a bit mixed up with itself. I would very much compare this film to a first person ‘John Wick’ in terms of action, what John Wick did great was give it a simple story, that way more of the focus is on the complex action, having complex action whilst also trying to fit in a complex story just didnt mix very well. Plus the acting is pretty atrocious in this film too just as a little side note.

Overall if you’re looking for a russian first person beat em up then log into your netflix account and get yourself on this. The story itself and chacters may be lacking but what it lacks in depth it more than makes up for in explosions and strip club gun fights, what more do you expect from Rus

6.5 Rotisary Legs out of 10

You Were Never Really Here

11th Sep 20197th Oct 2019 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“This cream cheese is from 1972”
Review by Lily Taylor

I think I ought to start this review with a disclaimer, just in case Joaquin Phoenix ever stumbles upon this blog. I love Joaquin, I think he is a wonderful actor with amazing range and depth of character and what I’m about to say about this film does not affect my feelings about him as an artist nor human being whatsoever. Please forgive me Joaquin.

Phoenix plays a hired gun by the name of Joe who is tasked with rescuing a kidnapped young girl (Ekaterina Samsonov) by her father, New York state senator Albert Votto (Alex Mannette). I don’t know about you folks, but I’m already getting ‘Man On Fire’ flashbacks at this point. The young girl, Nina, has been abducted for use in a high end brothel along with several other underage girls and Joe sets out on what should be a fairly simple rescue mission.

Meanwhile, we begin to get to know Phoenix’s character a little better. We find out he helps to care for his aged mother (Judith Roberts) and still lives with her in his childhood home. We also see that Joe is severely plagued by PTSD; he spends an inordinate amount of time with his head inside a plastic bag and often has flashbacks to the abuse that he and his mother suffered at the hands of his hot-tempered father. The only real human interactions Joe has during the film are with his mother and his handler, John McLeary (John Doman).

Soon after rescuing Nina, Joe sees on the news that her father Senator Votto has committed suicide and two police officers bust into his hotel room to take Nina and attempt to kill Joe. While one police officer successfully kidnaps the girl (again), Joe is forced to kill the second officer in order to escape. Shortly after returning to his home he finds his mother shot through the head while laying in bed with a pillow over her face, used as a silencer. Joe soon realises the perpetrators are still in the house and fatally shoots one. The other government agent is wounded and Joe questions him on his mother’s death and the motive behind Nina’s kidnapping.

I won’t divulge much more about the plot although I’m sure you can guess where it’s going. The scene in which Joe questions the injured agent was a very interesting one. Joe shares the man’s dying minutes and actually seems to provide him with comfort during this time despite being the one who shot him. There is music playing in the background and the fatally wounded man tries to sing along, Joe even joins in. I found this to be one of the more pertinent scenes in the film and it was clear that this man was simply following orders and there had been little malice behind his actions.

The other scene that I found poignant was when Joe drives his mother’s body to a nearby lake. He waded into the water dressed in a suit and weighs her body down with rocks. Joe uses rocks to weigh himself down under the water in another suicidal ideation, but changes his mind when he remembers Nina. This scene was well shot, simple and beautiful. A stoic Joaquin played it well and the soundtrack was complimentary.

The soundtrack in most places was actually not bad, largely in contrast to the scene I found myself watching. When Joaquin is out on a mission we hear a song that sounds remarkably like a sinister version of ‘Danger Zone’ by Kenny Loggins and I’m honestly very disappointed that it wasn’t, wouldn’t you like to hear a heavy rock version of the ‘Top Gun’ classic?

One of my major beefs with this film is a lack of character development, for both Joe and Nina. We see glimpses of Joe’s childhood when he has flashbacks and he routinely acts on his suicidal urges but there is no development of this story line. Joe is as broken at the end of the film as he was at the start. He doesn’t appear to have learnt anything during this journey and I didn’t feel there was any healing aspect to what happens to him, even through his mother’s water burial. Similarly, Nina has obviously experienced her own traumas and appears to cope by counting backwards under her breath. She says very little for the duration of the movie and her character really felt like a shell, as though it hasn’t been fully thought out. I suppose maybe that was the point?

I found the story line to be rushed and there wasn’t a huge amount of clarity around Joe’s career situation or on Nina’s situation with Senator Votto and Governor Williams. The title of the film implies a focus on the presence of Phoenix’s character. The first few scenes of the film focus on Joe not being seen when he goes out, leaving a water fountain running but disappearing before anyone sees him, his outrage about being spotted by McLeary’s son. Initially there is a first person camera angle so even the audience don’t see Joe. Sadly, I felt this sentiment was lost as the film progressed and morphed into a lacklustre pastiche of other revenge style action films.

I would give ‘You Were Never Really Here’ 6 Lace Socks out of 10

Man on Fire

14th Aug 20197th Oct 2019 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“His art is death, he’s about to paint his masterpiece”
Review by Lewis Goodall

Denzel Washington, the best actor ever, he’s so darn cool, he’s so darn clever (which is a reference 926,000 people will understand) plays John Creasy, an alcoholic, body guard with 16 years military training who is visiting an old friend, Paul Rayburn (Christopher Walken) in Mexico. Paul has a job opportunity for John to protect the daughter of Samuel Ramos (Marc Anthony), a successful businessman who does business things has money. Samuel Ramos’ daughter, Pita (Dakota Fanning) Is a swimmer/piano player/young person who is being protected by Creasy as there has been an increase in child kidnappings in the surrounding area by an organised crime syndicate who ransoms kids for money. Creasy being a depressive alcoholic finds it hard to take his mind off the job and makes no attempt to be Pita’s friend (the audiences sadly goes “aaaaaaaw”). As they spend more time together they build more of a connection till they are practically inseparable (the audience happily goes “aaaaaaaaaw”). As the syndicate commits a crime against the Ramos family that Creasy is hire to protect he must channel his former CIA skills for his tale of vengeance.

There’s more to the story than that but I don’t want to spoil the story right here at the beginning so I’ll have a spoil section at the end because I very much need to talk about that half of the film as well so no spoilers here for you and I recommend that you see this film without seeing the spoilers cause this is a damn fine movie.

Now this film is actually based on a true story which I had no idea about until the very end to which is was like “oh wow this was based on a true story”. The whole time watching it I was thinking what a creative and original story this was so I was gonna give a lot of credit to the writers for creating the story but I guess I have to thank the real life John Creasy for creating this great story. Turning this true story into this fantastic movie is a credit to the screenwriters for making a smooth experience for this story. Starting off with showing Creasy’s character through the alcohol he drinks was a great introduction into learning just how this character works. Denzel Washington is honestly fantastic and is the most stand out performance in this whole film, especially once we start seeing him rekindle his military training and going after the bad guys in the film. He’s truly the black John Wick in this film, and if you haven’t seen John Wick well he is basically a white John Creasy.

Dakota Fanning who is 9 years old in this film actually has a stand out performance which Is really surprising when normally kid actors are pretty useless. Although there is one moment where I saw her look at the camera, I saw you Dakota, don’t try and deny it.

These two start off together as strictly business as he takes her to school in the mornings to keep her safe from any potential predators that could be lurking. Telling Creasy facts about recent kidnappings and asking personal questions sets their relationship off to a bumpy start as Creasy is an introvert with a dark past of violence and loss. Constant reminders of his past, mixed with the alcohol makes Creasy a very suicidal boy to which he finds himself in his bedroom, practising drawing his gun which he turns on himself but the bullet doesn’t Fire. From that moment Creasy finds a new start with Pita and attempts to be more supportive with her pursuing her dreams of becoming a swimmer. From the moment the bullet doesn’t go is the moment that their relationship starts to blossom and the connection that these two have is a very father, daughter bond which is portrayed perfectly to really tug on the ole heart strings to see this military man become a big lovable goof.

As I mentioned before, Denzel truly shines once he must bring back all his CIA Skills against the syndicate and some of the moves he pulls against these guys solidifies this film as a major action flick so if you’re a fan of seeing people’s hands blown off with shotguns then this is the film for you. Intense action scenes matched with a story that keeps you hooked until the last moments makes this a truly unforgettable experience of vengeance and corrupt cops blood splats. The film has enough twists and turns to make a hot turns track envious.

Before giving my score and my spoiler section there’s one major aspect of the movie that I both loved and also hated. Now this film is edited and shot supremely well. As well as having normal camera angles, it has a lot of montage moments where the camera will zoom in on a specific object or face. Shots will overlap with intense music playing in the background which all blend together to create amazing sequences to show either the alcohol taking over or the action scenes in an intense way. Now I’m a huge fan of these moments when I felt they were appropriate, when shots were being fired or an edge of your seat moment was happening but there were moments when these montage shot were happening on a fairly mellow scene and it was just too overwhelming and felt like it really wasn’t needed in some moments where I felt they were trying to keep the high octane pace going but it would’ve been fine just without it.

Overall yes, I like this, watch this, it is very good, very cool, very clever.

8 Post-It Note Zebra’s out of 10

SPOILERS

So the first half of this movie is the relationship for Creasy and Pita. Halfway through the story, the syndicate commit the crime of kidnapping Pita and shooting Creasy in the chest which he survives. They kidnap the daughter and ask for 10 million dollars ransom. When the deal is about to be made, the drop of the money gets ambushed by a side gang who steal the money. The main one in charge, his nephew gets killed in the ambush so he kills Pita SHOCK HORROR!!!. The rest of the story is Creasy getting revenge and killing everyone involved in the deal by cutting off their fingers and putting an explosive in their brown porthole.

Turns out the ambush was planned by the dad to try and gain some extra cash so I wanted him dead more than anything but the turning moment was finding out Pita was still alive. The moment that Creasy and Pita come together again at the end of the film was incredibly heart warming and made me tear up seeing their happiness shine together. It made it worth it pushing through all the annoying editing.

Alita: Battle Angel

29th Jul 20197th Oct 2019 / criticallyashamed / Leave a comment

“This is just a body. It’s not bad or good. That part’s up to you.”
Review by Lewis Goodall

The cyberpunk setting is one I could see myself living in. I love the whole design of run down slums with really high tech cyborgs walking around with half a normal face and the other half looking like unsheathed toaster (bet that’s the first time anyone’s used that sentence). But honestly the contrast of slums and future really gets to me and I would love to be a part of it. Ever since seeing Bladerunner, I feel in love with that style and that style is brought heavily in with Alita: Battle Angel.

Alita (played by Rosa Salazar) is an out of service cyborg that has been left to rot in a scrap yard, only to be discovered by Dr. Dyson Ido ( played by Christoph Waltz). Clearly bored of making vacuum cleaners, Dr Dyson takes Alita from the scrap yard and breathes new life into her by creating her a new body. Alita having no memory of her past, must go on a quest to discover who she once was.

The world in which this cookie cutter story takes place in is stunning. Like I said before, the whole cyberpunk vibe is just amazing to look at, you can really appreciate all the details that went into making that world. In the background of every inner city shot, there will be someone with a robotic arm or something along those lines. Cyborgs walking around and vehicles that have only one wheel. The attention to detail in the world is phenomenal. The film takes place in the year 2563, 300 years after a great war known as ‘The Fall’. Since then the city has been divided into two sections. The slum side where all the scum, ruffians, bounty hunters and general Artful Dodgers hang out. The other section is known as Zalem, This part of the city is suspended in the sky above the slum city and there is no way of getting there (2563 and apparently there’s no such things a planes anymore).

Something I found really great with this film is really having the feeling of being along with Alita and discovering parts of the world together for the first time. Rosa Salazar does her part really well during this film and especially the beginning to which I have to be honest, is my favourite part of the whole film. Just seeing the way the citizens interact with this futuristic dystopian world is great and especially once you get introduced to Motorball which holy mother of titty shaking Christ I wish was a real sport. Motorsport is basically basketball on roller blades where everyone is trying to kill each other. I got heavy spy kids 3 flashbacks whilst watching Motorball. Specifically the part in spy kids where they have the race on the hover bikes and pumped up unicycles (if you have no idea what I’m talking about then shame on you). I had this nostalgia trip and then realised that they were both directed by Robert Rodriguez so it made a lot of sense.

I wish there was more Motorball in the film, there were only a couple of scenes with It in and they were by far the best scenes and I would love for it to actually become a sport. Actually I wish the whole film revolved around Motorball because I feel it would’ve been a lot more interesting. Not to diss the story as it is but it was a very typical Hollywood, cookie cutter film.

The screenplay itself was alright and felt natural but there was nothing overly standoutish about it. The story line in general was just that really, it was general. It did the job and I was captivated the whole way through but nothing outside of the CGI blew my mind. Not even the score stuck with me, thinking about it I don’t remember if there even was any music, there definitely was but I just don’t remember it. All my negatives towards the film are minor ones as I still did enjoy the story, even if it was generic I still found myself getting really invested in what happened to the characters and I’m really rooting for them to make a second one.

Overall this film may have a standard template but the visuals and action in there really step it up a mark. The setting and world that this story takes place in makes the experience definitely worth while. The analogy that I have in my head right now is, imagine someone wrote a story on Microsoft word. It’s a story everyone knows by heart and has read before but this time they have used a really nice font and used wordart for the header to make It looks really pretty. If that analogy doesn’t work then just imagine it’s a cross between Bladerunner and spy kids 3.